Mr. Sifter's column 2012

This page is part of the features section

Columnist Nick Thornton sifts through the jumble of live music experiences to find some insights into what's it all about.

21st April

This week, I went into HMV and bought some CDs. For those of you, of an age where you think Reggie Yates and Rizzle Kicks is where it's at, CDs are small round discs that play music. Picked up Pulp's Different Class for 5 quid. 5 QUID! It kind of made me sad though. Why are HMV selling classic albums for peanuts? Simple answer: Apple. I hated Steve Jobbs for this reason alone.

Apple have dismantled people's joy at buying albums on hardcopy. People used to specifically make trips into town to buy albums. You'd get them home, put them on while reading the booklet from back to front. Before this, there was vinyl. You still can't beat the look and feel of a good vinyl record.

It's with extreme sadness that I look around and see people releasing 'albums' without a valid record deal, online, on facebook etc. It's very sad. Call me a dinosaur if you like. But at least I can remember when Pop stars held a certain mystique, they weren't like us, they were immortal almost. Even McCartney has gone, from almost myth-like, to releasing albums in coffee shops. Now anyone can make an album, anyone can have an agent, street team, tea boy etc. Still, at least we still have Later with Jools as the only music show going. Even MTV have disowned music. Shut down Youtube, shut down Facefuck, shut down Apple ... you heard it here first, Apple are actually Skynet..
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on O2

4th April

I was thinking this week about everyone's obsession with 'making it' and getting famous. Why would you want to be famous? Everyone who's famous says they miss their old life, they miss the obscurity. And besides, the more famous you are, the crapper your death. Elvis died cos he couldn't poo, Michael Jackson died of a crap doctor, Winehouse died cos she QUIT drugs, Whitney Houston died having a wash and Princess Diana died running away from french people. Look at John Entwhistle, the least famous member of The Who, nobody recognised him, yet he died in a drug-fuelled coke orgy in a hotel room full of hookers in his 60s. So my advice is try hard NOT to be recognised, you'll die a better death!

Anyway, I am by far the most famous person on my street, so I'm happy with that. I'm currently dishing out advice to my nephew and his band, he's 16, and my word have they been given some shit advice already by various other people. Why is most advice given by people who have no experience in the thing they are advising on? I use Dannii Minogue as an X-Factor judge as an example. I'd like to see deeply inappropriate people giving advice ... for example John Terry giving relationship advice, or Fred West hosting a gardening show ... or, even better, Harold Shipman promoting those over 50s insurance plans.

See you later

29th March

What's been happening then? Well, apparently the Live Music Act of 2003 is to be abolished. For anyone who doesn't know the Live Music Act was a bill passed that meant any venue wanting to put on live music had to apply for a licence.

I myself fail to see how getting rid of the act would help. Let's face it, most places that have live music don't apply for the licence anyway. Seems a bit of a waste of paper and effort to me. It won't 'save small venues' like the NME are saying.

You can take a horse to water and all that ... Sad news this week that one of my fave bands, Jet, have split. Is there nobody left for me to go and see anymore? Eaves-wise all is go again. We've all finished doing what we were doing and now we've regrouped (I DID tell you this would be the case). There's even half a chance we will have a rehearsal if Quad can fit us in. We won't go anywhere else cos 1) we're snobs and 2) we love it there. It'll be good to be back as a now infamous glam-rocker once said ...

14th January

Now then, it's been a while hasn't it? Probably six months since I was onstage in Leicester. Other places to play, other people to sing at. I think maybe a fair bit has changed around these parts music wise, or has it?

I still don't know who most of the bands are, although a couple of my musical acquaintances are still playing. Mediocre is fast become classed as good. Renaming yourself/your band is commonplace also. None of that rubbish for The Eaves I tell you, although we have all got new kit.

We're very much enjoying our official position as Leicester Music's elder statesmen and by this I mean we can gig when WE want to. Our days of playing for 25minutes on a Thursday night are over. We've been playing 2-3 hour sets for a few years now, we've no need to do any other type of gig. It's still free to come see us play and it's still a fucking pleasurem, I'll tell you that! New songs are finished, rehearsed, given a thumbs up etc., come see us somewhere, you never know, you might like it.

[The opinions expressed on this page are those of the author and do not represent the views of this magazine or its publishers]

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Mr. Sifter's column for 2011

The Editor's column